On Wednesday night, Benjamin stayed with my mom, while Raul and I had dinner that evening. When we got home, my mom said he wouldn’t stop crying, and he did not want the bottle. I started to feel worried, for instance, I thought I was doing something wrong. People tell you don’t pick up your baby because you’ll spoil them, let them cry it out, don’t give them too much attention, but consciously, I can’t do any of those. There have been studies that indicate that allowing your children to cry it out have a negative impact on the relationship. If babies feel ignored when they start signaling (crying) that they need you, they stop signaling and shut down. This can break down the relationship of trust between parent and child. Maybe my method isn’t culturally acceptable. Our culture tends not to be very baby friendly. We want to force babies to accommodate our life, and I know this because I hear parents say “oh she/he is a GOOD baby.” As if a demanding baby, is a “bad” baby.
One of my favorite sites, kellymom.com has so much expert information, and it’s so helpful for first time moms. This site gives me affirmation that what I’m doing is perfectly normal, like comfort feeding, feeding to sleep, co-sleeping, or “spoiling” my baby by picking him up.
1. Breastfeeding your child to sleep and for comfort is not a bad thing to do– in fact, it’s normal, healthy, and developmentally appropriate. Sucking releases the hormone cholecystokinin (CCK) in both mother and baby, which results in a sleepy feeling. In addition, breastmilk also contains sleep-inducing hormones, amino acids, and nucleotides, whose concentrations are higher during the night and may actually help babies establish their own circadian rhythm. Since babies can’t tell day from night and cannot produce melatonin, mother’s night time breastmilk has plenty of it. Prolactin levels are higher at night as well. Babies often want to nurse at night because quite simply, there’s more milk at night!
2. The breast was the first pacifier and the one that all others are modeled after.
3. To associate the breast with wanting to relax enough to go to sleep makes perfect sense. As adults, we also do things to relax ourselves so we can go to sleep: we read, watch TV, get something warm to drink or a snack, deep breathe, get all snug under the covers, etc.
4. Falling asleep without breastfeeding is a developmental milestone that your child will reach when he is ready. You don’t have to teach them to do this. They reach this as a milestone – when they’re physically, developmentally, and emotionally ready.
Happy Friday to all my wonderful families.
A few weeks ago, you joked about finally knowing what it is like to be me two years ago. I met you for dinner but declined to be your dance partner that evening, instead, I told you I was going to sleep early. #old
In my heart, I wanted to continue the night, but one of my new years resolution that year was to say no more often and get more sleep.
Two days later, I agreed to go out after a long night at work. I slipped on my dancing shoes to impress you.
Two weeks ago, we got the flu. I lived in your wool socks, in yoga pants, with my hair pulled backed. Not very impressive, but that has been the life. You still remember to fall in love with me. You fall in love with me through Planet Earth episodes, through the smell of vapor rub, through my constant coughing and sneezing, and through the sound of the humidifier.
Today, marks the day I met you for dinner, so I celebrate this day with a date.
Over the past six months I have grown passionate of a particular subject. It is where my heart is, so for 2018, I’d like part of my career to take that direction. There will be more to come in the near future.
Our family has some goals as well. One is to continue breastfeeding until Benjamin is one. Secondly, we’ll be working on putting Benjamin to sleep in his crib, so I’ll take any good advice. Lastly, we’ll be traveling more. (We got a bit of confidence from our London trip.)
Some personal goals of mine are to cut spending on clothes and shoes. I have limited myself to two pairs of shoes a season, and I’m still working out the clothes ratio.
I’d like to read like I use to, but with Benjamin, it is a little difficult.
I wanted to read daily, but I realize that is an unrealistic goal with Benjamin. I read my bible once a week and another book of choice on the days I have time.
I hope that your 2018 is full of life, happiness, success, peace, and love,
From my family to yours!
2017 for me has been a year of marriage, love, life, and travel. Here are some of the moments you didn’t get to see.
We have photo shoots on our burger dates.
Paris. What is up with my hair? I can explain. I was four months pregnant. Wait that’s not good enough. It was cold, rainy, and I was tired and four months pregnant.
Let’s look into each other’s eyes, while we hold this cake.
Hawaii. We were walking on these rocks looking for sea shells. I was seven months pregnant, and mom was worried I’d fall. As you can see, she’s holding my hand.
I don’t know why I have my eyes closed yall. I must have experienced some inner mermaid moment.
We’ll get this photo right at some point.
Oh, my Benjamin. He was a little over a month in this photo.
I’m thinking really hard about teleporting to London.
Now you see him,
Now you don’t.
This week I’ve felt like I’ve had to prove that I’m enough.
I still have a pile of dishes in the sink.
I still have a basket full of clean and dirty clothes.
I have another pile in Benjamin’s room.
My closet has clothes that need to go on hangers.
The guest room has piles of bags in one corner, a work related pile, and boxes in another corner.
Meanwhile, I have to pause every few times to feed Benjamin, to change his diaper, to move him from Rockaroo, to the carpet, to the sofa, to the crib, and back to the Rockaroo.
Am I enough?
Yesterday, I stopped myself from crying in the elevator because Benjamin looked up at me and smiled.
In that moment, I realized I am enough for him.
Benjamin and I were walking the isles of Babies R Us on Thursday, and I just couldn’t believe all the gadgets available for babies. I am some percent minimalist (with the exception of shoes and clothes, but that’s something I’ll be working on for 2018). When I began my baby registry, I only wanted the necessities. Some of the best purchases for me were- our 4moms rockaRoo, a manual breast pump, and coconut oil.
Benjamin spends a lot of his day both on the swing and on tummy time, so I feel the rockaRoo has been a great purchase. If you are looking to make a big purchase, I think any infant swing will work.
Some of the small purchases I like were my manual breast pump, which I leave in my car in case I need it. Honestly, I dislike pumping, so it’s very rare that I do, but it’s easier to carry around than the electric one.
And coconut oil y’all! This small purchase saved our life when we were in London. I brought it along because Benjamin has dry skin. In the middle of our trip, he got a diaper rash. We applied three different types of creams and none of them worked as effectively as the coconut oil did.
Some obvious purchases we decided to make were a crib, a stroller, and a car seat.
His crib has mostly been used for tummy time as well. Since day one, he did not like his crib. Frankly, I didn’t either. I didn’t get much sleep putting him in there. I’d frequently wake up to check that he was breathing. It worked out best for us to co-sleep. Now, he sleeps right in our bed, and I can hear him breathe, move his little arms around, kick his legs up, and when he’s hungry, he just rolls right on his side.
I think our next big purchase will be a high chair. Since he is able to sit up now, a high chair works perfectly with Baby Led Weaning. I like this idea because I don’t have to get wound up in purees or canned baby food. This way Benjamin gets to experiment with using his hands, chewing, then swallowing. They sell these really cool suction plates, but I figured it was pointless for now since things will get messy anyway. So stay tuned for photos of Benjamin smothered in avocado.
My husband took this photo of Benjamin and I in front of Westminster Abbey. Just minutes before this photo, I sat in the cold halls of Westminster, while I nursed Benjamin. I remember his cold little his hands on my chest and him chugging away. Sometimes, he’d look up at me, and I’d wonder if he knew who I was. Other times, he’d immediately pull of my breast and stare at the guest distracting his feedings.
For the first six weeks, breastfeeding was not as easy as moments before this photo. I read that it takes about six weeks for baby and mother to adjust, so I set a goal of six weeks. First, Benjamin had a poor latch because of his lip and tongue tie, so my concern was that I would experience a decrease in milk supply. I pumped and pumped and cried because I was so tired. I remember often Raul walking in the room while I pumped. Surely, he would find me crying as well. He consoled me, encouraged me and gave me options, but my heart was set on giving the best I could to Benjamin, especially because of the benefits .
This photo is a reminder of the nice things my husbands tells people. “Rose didn’t give up.”
Thinking back at those first six weeks of life still brings back tears, but I’m also reminded of the wonderful family that prayed over me. I proudly announce that we met our second goal and we are still breastfeeding and hope to continue.